Online Dating Part II – How to Get Your Online Dating Profile Noticed

Posted in Chapter 2 - How to Meet New People, Online Dating, The Secrets

Online Dating Part II – How to Get Your Online Dating Profile Noticed

Everyone knows the importance of a great first impression.

What are the secrets for the perfect Online Dating Profile?


Millions of users compete for attention online.  If your profile doesn't stand out from the crowd, you will never generate enough interest to get a date.


Great potential matches will practically fall in your lap with the right profile!


Before we share some of our advanced, creative techniques for crafting a profile, we must get people to view your profile in the first place.

Success in getting people to view your profile depends on what others initially see in their SEARCH results.

Here are the key elements of the SEARCH results to focus on:



The right username will help you stand out and intrigue others.

The wrong username can turn people off or stereotype you in an unflattering manner from the start.

Do a search of any online dating service.  Notice how many profiles put little to no effort into their username.

A boring username subliminally communicates you were lazy about making a profile and/or aren't creative.

Try usernames that highlight one of your passions/hobbies.  Pick your most exciting hobby/interest and craft a username around it.

Don't try to be too clever or funny.  Jokes are best reserved for other areas of your profile which we discuss below.

Also, DON'T pick a name related to any superficial qualities.

Highlighting superficial qualities like wealth or looks will backfire and make most people think you are shallow or trying too hard.

To show some specific examples, look at this comparison of actual male/female usernames from an online dating service.

Prior Username                                                                       Optimacy Version

Charles4luv0023                                  ===>                         Skydiver101

Shoefreake994                                      ===>                         Museumjunkie456

Jenniferp08                                           ===>                         Winelover123

Imtheman4u69                                     ===>                         Stanfordgrad2001


Do you notice the improvement?

The Optimacy versions arouse much more interest and make it easy for someone to start initial conversations with you.

What more could you ask for from just a username?


Much like the username, a tagline is one of the most poorly utilized elements in the world of online dating.

The first thing people will read about you in search results is usually your tagline, so take advantage of this opportunity.

Predictable taglines such as "SWF looking for handsome, smart, funny guy" or "SWM tall, dark and handsome" may seem fine, but there are better options.

Even though you are on a dating site, people don't want to be reminded it's a meat market.

Avoid taglines that use online dating jargon, lingo, and abbreviations.

Remember...You're not a product on the shelf of a store, so don't market yourself as such.

Instead, use a tagline that makes it easy to start a conversation -- much like you would do in person.

Our favorite tagline is simple, but extremely effective...

"Hello! I'm new here."


This simple phrase is a perfect example of using subliminal techniques to overcome disadvantages and making them a positive for you.

To understand the power of this tagline, step back and think about the negative stereotypes associated with online dating.

1.  The men are creepy or players.

2.  The women are slutty or lonely.

Whether these stereotypes are true doesn't matter.  The fact is many people are still embarrassed to admit they use online dating.

By saying you're "new here", you portray yourself as someone just trying it out, which eliminates much of the online dating stigma.

Think about it...

Do YOU want someone who has gone through every guy/girl on the site???

Of course not...that's why you need to avoid this stigma like the plague.

This phrase also makes it very easy for others to relate to you and start a conversation.  You're practically inviting people to email and welcome you without specifically asking.

It also mitigates certain weaknesses in your profile.

For example, if you don't have the most interesting profile or best looking picture, this tagline explains why -- i.e. you're just “new” to the whole process.

Is it the perfect tagline?

For most people it will be.  However, it's not a bad idea to occasionally change your tagline and try different things.

Utilizing wit and questions can also be very effective.  Let's look at some other potential taglines...


"I'm a 10! (if you round up after 5)"


Self-deprecating humor subliminally communicates high self-esteem.  While others are trying so hard in their profiles to make you think they are perfect, you are showing that you can make fun of yourself as well as showing wit/personality.

"Don't be shy!"


Even online, there is a fear of rejection.  This phrase takes a lot of that reluctance out of the equation and will result in more people responding.  Giving a command also shows authority and subconsciously elevates your status.

"Yes...These are my real pics"


Again, you are taking a negative about online dating and using it to your advantage.  By confirming your pics are real, you exhibit credibility and remove an element of doubt that people normally have when perusing profiles.  You also subliminally plant the seed that other people's pics are NOT real.

"Warning!...Normal person here"


This is another phrase that brilliantly uses online dating stereotypes to your advantage. You're actually COMFORTING them with a WARNING...while at the same time implying that other profiles they look at are crazy people. 'Jedi-level' stuff right?

"What's the sweetest thing you've ever done for someone?"


Asking a question is a great option for women.  Many guys spam canned responses to every attractive girl on the site.  By asking a question, you can determine from the responses whether they actually read your profile or not.

"What is your favorite wine?"


Same as above.

"If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?"


A question combined with a little comedy can go a long way.  Almost everyone is attracted to someone who is witty, funny, and intelligent.
Make sure you pick a question and type of comedy that reflects your are some other samples:

"Are ghosts real?"

"List 5 quirky things about yourself?

"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"

"You're allowed to read my profile unless bacteria is the only culture you have."

"If at first you don't succeed, please don't come skydiving with me."

"Half the people I know are above average...What are you?"


At this point, your creative juices may be flowing.  You probably have an idea of some great usernames and taglines to try.  Keep that inspiration, we just have one more topic to cover related to online search results...

Profile Photo

Your profile photo is the single most important element to generating attraction.

People search online dating profiles primarily with their eyes.  Many people even filter out profiles that don't include a photo.

Would YOU click a profile that is missing a pic???

You don't have to be the most attractive person in the world. However, people want to associate a face with a profile.  Without a pic, people naturally assume you have something to hide.

The right profile picture will get you noticed.  Here are some secrets to capitalize on the exposure and tempt users to get to know you better.


Make sure to smile.


A genuine smile speaks volumes about your character.  You appear more open, friendly and approachable.

You will get more responses with a smiling profile photo than one that is serious or expressionless.

Also note that a genuine smile is one that involves all the muscles in your face.  Avoid smiles that may be tense or forced.

Great Smile



Great Smile





Forced Smile








Wear your favorite outfit.


Your clothes can make a difference.  The right outfit will flatter you as well as show some of your personality.   Sometimes your outfit alone can spawn attraction and conversation if it's the same style another person likes.

Look at how much this outfit below communicates about the person versus your standard outfit. It gives the viewer many more potential areas for compatibility as well as ideas to initiate an email.

Don't include friends/pets in the photo.


Your profile pic should be just you. It's fine to show you are social and have pets, but save those for the additional pics in your profile.

Use backgrounds related to travels or hobbies


Anything interesting in your pic gives viewers something to relate to and may start a conversation.

No mirror cell phone pics


Nothing screams tacky more than self pics using a cell phone and mirror.



No shirtless, photoshopped, or pics of your dirty house.


Is anything worse than the pic below???   Sad thing is that the guy isn't terrible looking. If he were dressed in a simple white button-down shirt, sport coat and was smiling in front of a nice setting, he would have a chance.



Look...You may want people to see your inner beauty and not judge you on the basis of a username, tagline, or profile pic.

The truth is that we ALL judge people based on how they look and are influenced by anything that "represents" us.

Thus, to maximize your potential dates online it's imperative that you put the appropriate effort into your profile pic, username, and tagline.

We've given you the secrets to use these features to your advantage.  Next article, we will focus on the profile itself.
To view Part III of our Online Dating series, click Online Dating Part III






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